BREAKING NEWS: Legalists across the Adventist world were rushed to hospital today after sustaining panic attacks at the unwelcome report from leading denominational theologians that non-Adventists will be in heaven. The theologians posted the report in the middle of the night to minimize the chance of the news spreading too far but, unlucky for them, […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-report-non-adventists-going-to-heaven/