The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has announced a sweeping new policy banning all forms of movement during Sabbath song service. The initiative, dubbed “Statuesque Sabbath,” aims to eliminate what church leaders are calling “distracting kinetic worship.” Elder Rigid Stockstill, chair of the newly formed Committee on Motionless Melodies, explained the rationale behind the decision: […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-all-movement-banned-during-adventist-song-services/

1. Memorize All 13 Sabbath School Memory Verses Each Quarter – Commit to learning every single Adult Sabbath School quarterly memory verse so you can recite them from the pulpit with the confidence of an ordained minister. 2. Master the Art of Nominating Committee Evasion – Perfect your “I’m suddenly very busy” face and strategically […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-top-10-adventist-new-years-resolutions/