Attention, fellow Adventists! Are you tired of subpar seating ruining your Sabbath experience? Fear not! Our crack team of professional pew-sitters has compiled the ultimate guide to church seating strategy. Remember, your eternal salvation may not depend on where you sit, but your social standing certainly does! Front Row Daredevils For those who laugh in […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-pew-fection-the-holy-grail-of-sabbath-seating/

Item #6: “Unauthorized or improper disclosure of information–unauthorized or improper use or release of personal, confidential, private, or proprietary employer or denominational information by any means.” Serious, wide-ranging, and concerning new communication rules for church clergy and church employees were discussed this week at the General Conference (GC) Autumn Council in Silver Spring, Maryland. This […] Source: https://atoday.org/editorial-will-disciplinaryitem-6-be-the-death-of-us/

by Alvin Masarira  |  18 October 2024  |   The General Conference Executive Committee (GC Excom) met this year from October 10 to 16.  The GC Excom is one of the most influential bodies of the worldwide church and it meets more frequently—at least twice a year, so 10 times in five years—than the General Conference […] Source: https://atoday.org/the-return-to-centralized-authority/

Tammy Smugworth, a long-time member of the Pineview Seventh-day Adventist Church, has reportedly been spending hours in front of her mirror, perfecting what she calls her “I knew it all along” face for the moment of Christ’s return. “I want to make sure I have just the right blend of vindication and holier-than-thou when Jesus […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-church-member-practices-smug-face-for-second-coming/