Ye have heard of the dispensation of the grace of God which is given me to you-ward: how that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery. Ephesians 3:2, 3.
Through divine revelation, the plan of salvation, as wrought out by Christ, was laid open to Paul. Called of God, he was to teach men that from a state of hopelessness, dead in trespasses and sins, there was deliverance through the gospel of Jesus Christ. There was life and power to reach forth unto holiness. Because of these revelations, Paul was blessed with a marvelous insight. Though he could not present to others all that he himself had seen, yet he was firmly rooted and grounded in the truth. No suffering or reproach could ever lead him to deny the great truths that had been revealed to him. No presentation of false theories could lead him away from the influence of the grand views he had received of heavenly things…. The gospel as presented by Paul in his writings is just as powerful today as when it was written. To men in all ages is made known the rich treasures of the grace of Christ, the abundant love of God as revealed through His Son. Can we, while in a cold, lifeless condition, appreciate these truths?
The gospel of Christ was preached to the Jewish nation. Had they accepted its truths, it would have proved their salvation. Through belief in Christ they might have become members of the royal family, manifesting through the succeeding ages the riches of His grace. But they, as a nation, rejected Christ, refused His offers of mercy, and were cut off from the parent vine, that the Gentiles might be grafted in. Still it is their privilege to become partakers with the Gentiles of the salvation of God. Belief in Christ will work in every man a transformation of character.
Through the transforming grace of Christ, the fruits of the Spirit are made manifest in the life of those who were once dead in trespasses and sins. In disposition, in words, and in actions, they are seen to be partakers of the divine nature. This wonderful grace was revealed to Paul, and he worked constantly that others might be brought to a knowledge of these saving truths.
To Jew and Gentile alike was the gospel preached under the direction of the Holy Spirit. The middle wall of partition that had separated the Jews was broken down in Christ Jesus. “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:13).—Manuscript 111, October 22, 1906, “A Warning Against Formation.”
The Upward Look p. 309
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prayer Requests
—-Please pray for Mike and Larry as they travel today. LS
—-Jamie needs prayer. please pray for her, her 6 year old son was just killed in a car accident hit by tractor trailer. Arlene
—-Urgent prayer request. Toms aunt Cathy was admitted to hospital this morning with covid and pneumonia. She had a sinus infection and was on antibiotics when she was exposed. She is not doing well. Darla
—-Thank you all who prayed for me about my having sepsis. I went to my doctor and got another blood test and my sepsis is gone! I thank God for healing me! I praise his Holy name! Connie
—-Please pray for Elijah that God will guide in his life. Rose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Friends,
We are looking forward to December more this year than ever before, as Esther will have her third baby then. She is so enjoying feeling baby Jonathan moving inside her even though she is at the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. Knowing that a baby can hear the mother and feel her touch in the womb, she talks to him and sings to him while rubbing her expanded belly. She can hardly wait until she can actually hold him in her arms and cuddle her little one.
I remember those feelings. When my children were born, I had such love for them. As I looked upon that tiny babe, there was a bond, a special love that nothing else can match. Now that they are grown, I still have that same love for them. It does not change. God’s love and care for us is even deeper than our love could ever be. God’s love never changes. He assures us, “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” Isa 49:15,16;66:13

And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. John 17:3.
If we will come into close relation with God, if we will yield to God His own—our mind, our heart, and all that there is of us—we will indeed find peace and happiness that we can obtain nowhere else.
What does it amount to to live in this world dependent upon the applause and amusements that we can find here? Do these bring us happiness? No; they bring us only unrest and dissatisfaction, and at the same time we are losing the most precious treasure, the richest blessings that God can bestow upon us. We need to understand much more than we do the worth of our souls. We need to know what we shall do that we may work the works of God. “This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent” (John 6:29). He can be to us all that we desire.
Jesus proclaimed on the last great day of the feast, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink” (chap. 7:37); and again we hear Him saying, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). Have you tried it? There are many who have, and they know that the words of Christ are verity and truth, and that when trouble has come in like a flood, they have looked to Jesus and have been comforted and strengthened.
Christ has promised that if we yoke up with Him we shall find peace and comfort and hope, and we [shall] know by experience [that] His words are true. He wants everyone to be saved. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:16, 17)….
Jesus Christ knew that humanity had not power in itself to resist the temptations of the enemy of souls, and therefore He clothed His divinity with humanity, left His royal throne and high command, and came to this world all seared and marred with the curse, and humiliated Himself, in order to set us an example…. He came to this world, not to attend horse races, not to attend the theater, but He came meek and lowly, and He invites us to learn of Him, the King of glory. By doing this we shall obtain the moral power He left the courts of heaven to bestow upon us.—Manuscript 16, October 20, 1895, untitled manuscript, apparently a sermon preached at the Armadale Campground, Australia.
The Upward Look p. 307
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prayer Requests
—-Please pray for me am not well am having balancing problems and problems with my ears. Rosemary
—-Pls pray for my son Methuselah he’s sick. Markus
—-we need your prayers. At the moment my Dad is hospitalized with pneumonia. Val
—-Please pray for one of my sons. He acts like he is totally demon possessed. Connie
—-Please pray that David will get on medication. Buck
—-I am pretty sick, Admitted to hospital. I don’t know anyone on this great group personally but if anyone wants to pray for me I would greatly appreciate it. Christopher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Friends,
My grandmother, Ida, used to enjoy getting letters to her friend who lived far away. Every week she would look forward to a nice long letter about all that had happened to Annabel and her family. She began to notice that the letters became more infrequent. Sometimes she wouldn’t get a letter for two or three weeks. She began to worry. The next letter she received let her know that all was well. Annabel just put off writing because she had other things to do.
As time passed, the letters were arriving monthly and then stopped altogether. My grandmother decided to do something different. She could not call her friend as we did not have a telephone and Annabel lived in Florida—a long way from Michigan. Taking several sheets of writing paper, she wrote on the first page, “Dear Ida,”. Folding the paper carefully, she put it in an envelope and addressed it to Annabel.
Soon she received a letter from Annabel. She told my grandmother how when she opened her mailbox and saw the thick envelope, she had put it in her pocket to read after her housework was done. All day she looked forward to reading that letter. Finally she was able to sit down and relax. Pulling the envelope out of her apron pocket, she unfolded the paper. Surprised and disappointed she stared at the blank pages. She wrote more often after that.
Just as those two friends looked forward to hearing from each other, so our Great Creator looks forward to hearing from us. He longs to have us talk to Him, to bring Him all our perplexities, to share with Him our joys, to ask His advice, to listen as He speaks to us through His Word and through the Holy Spirit’s promptings. How can we know it is the Holy Spirit speaking to us? We must make sure that the promptings agree completely with the Scriptures as did those in Berea, who “were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” Acts 17:11 We must also make sure that we are following all of the light that we already have, for Jesus promised, “My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself. He that speaketh of himself seeketh his own glory: but he that seeketh his glory that sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him.” John 7:16-18
David declared, “Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.” With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.” Ps 55:17; 119:11-16 Paul advises, “Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thes 5:17 As we go through the day, our Dear Saviour longs for us to be conscious of His presence. He desires to be part of all we do, all we say, all we think. How often He waits for us to think of Him, but we often go through our daily routine with scarcely a thought Heavenward.
“I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found…Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” Ps 32:5-8 As we pray, He instructs us. As we meditate on His Word, He enlightens us. “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes.
May we draw near to our Loving God through Bible study, meditating upon His Word, and heartfelt prayer. May our sweetest thoughts be of Him, Who is our Redeemer, our Advocate, our Soon-Coming King. May the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart be acceptable unto the One Who loves us so is my prayer. (Ps 19:14)
Rose

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. John 15:4.
Christ suffers trial to come upon His followers that they may be led to seek the Lord more earnestly. Then when trials come, do not think that the Lord is your enemy. He purges for a reason. He does not want you to be discouraged; but He would prove you, to see if you will be true to Him and will conduct yourselves circumspectly under every circumstance. He does not want to drive you away, but to drive you nearer to the Lord. In God is the Christian’s only hope in time of perplexity.
Do not talk to others about your trials, for they have enough of their own to bear, and our human friends cannot always understand. It is your privilege to go to One who will always understand, because His life on earth was one of constant trial and perplexity, borne without failure and sin….
It is not enough that now and then you offer a prayer, and now and then deal righteously. You are to have the attributes of an abiding Christ working out in your life constantly. How many of us have this experience? Yet we may have it, and having it, we will be the happiest people on the face of the earth. With Christ’s Word abiding in us, we shall give evidence that we have wholly received Him who in His humanity lived a sinless life. In the strength of divinity we shall overcome every tendency to evil….
The difference between the character of Christ and the character of other men of His day was everywhere apparent; and because of this difference the world hated Him. It hated Him for His goodness and His strict integrity. And Christ declared that those who manifest the same attributes would be likewise hated. As we near the end of time this hatred for the followers of Christ will be more and more manifest.
Christ took humanity and bore the hatred of the world that He might show men and women that they could live without sin, that their words, their actions, their spirit, might be sanctified to God. We can be perfect Christians if we will manifest this power in our lives. When the light of heaven rests upon us continually, we shall represent Christ. It was the righteousness revealed in His life that distinguished Him from the world and called forth its hatred….
The words of Christ are spoken for His people in all ages—for us, upon whom the ends of the world are come.—Manuscript 97, October 16, 1909, “I Am the True Vine,” a sermon preached at San Jose, California.
The Upward Look p. 303
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prayer Requests
—-Please pray for Sheryl as she is having surgery today. Larry
—-PLease pray for Laura who has kidney cancer and her mother just passed. Rose
—-Please pray for safe travels for us. LS
—-Kriston was just told that his cancer has returned and needs prayer. Staci
—-Need prayer for my Dad plz. He’s in hospital, major pain and after four days they still don’t know the cause. He does not know Jesus. Please pray for God’s will in his life. Jodie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Friends,
On the mornings that I don’t need to get up and fix Ron his breakfast, I have been oversleeping. Each time I do so, I feel upset with myself because I know I have much to do. In Matthew 25, we find a story about ten girls who also overslept when they should have been awake and watching. They, too, became upset at the consequences. “Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not. Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.” Matt 25:1-13
How easy it is for us to be sleeping, when we should be awake and watching. How easy it is for us to be lulled into a false security, when our very first priority should be making sure we have that extra oil of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. How easy it is for us to think that all is well, when in reality we are “wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked” Rev 3:18
Jesus is coming soon! The signs all foretell it! “It is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we [first] believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.” Rom 13:11-14 Let us sleep not as do others but spend the time we have before the Bridegroom appears gathering precious souls for His kingdom, so when we see our Loving Saviour coming in the clouds, we may look up and with rejoicing exclaim, “Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” Isa 25:9
Rose

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruits of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3.
I have a special message to parents. I am charged to bring to parents the strict requirement of God in each family. Fathers and mothers need to be daily reconverted in the line of bringing light into their own families. Cultivate Christian politeness in your training of your children. Guard yourselves. Never allow your hand to strike a child in anger. Your children are the Lord’s property and they must be treated kindly, but not vindicated in their disrespect of righteousness and truth by your own careless irreverence. Give them righteousness. Christ is truth, the complete perfect sample of what every soul must be if he enters the heavenly courts. All the great facts are set forth. You can never cure an evil spirit by doing irreligious work….
Be kind in your speech to your children. No loud, tempestuous scolding will cure your children of any evil action. No taking your children in a passion and shaking them will convert them from the error of their ways to do God’s will. They are God’s property. As a people professing to be reformers the very best lesson that you can give your children in this age of corruption is not to indulge them to become fashionable after the worldly style. Sons and daughters are to be instructed as to what it means to be obedient to God’s requirements, what will fit you and them for a position in the heavenly kingdom.
Watch and pray, fathers and mothers, lest ye enter into temptation. Give your hearts and minds and souls to God’s service. You are not to be severe, but kneel before the Lord with your own hearts softened by the grace of God. Be converted that you may have the earnest of the Holy Spirit. What a comfort to know that the Lord will help you in every emergency, for you are laborers together with God….
Fathers and mothers, you take the responsibility of bringing children into the world. Will you consider it is not for you to work in vain? “We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain.” … Now this takes in Christian experience. Here is large encouragement. Here are the graces we are to receive, if we comply with the conditions. Fathers, mothers, if you are not converted, will you measure your advantages if you will comply with the conditions? … Your children are the Lord’s property with which you have been entrusted, to bring up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.—Manuscript 61, October 15, 1911, “Individual Responsibility of Fathers and Mothers.”
The Upward Look p. 302
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prayer Requests
—- Please pray for my daughter Krystal for her to come to God with her concerns of work, her living situation, school and a God-provided significant other. Kimberly
—-My baby has been pretty sick today and I’m worried about how he is breathing. Please pray for healing and that he is able to rest and his breathing is good. Haley
—-Please pray for us as we are being evacuated because of a wildfire. Betty
—-Please pray for Mike and Eileen and Larry as they travel. Please pray for Ron who is sick and the doctors cannot figure out why. Pray for all our family as there is covid-19 at Brian’s work. Rose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Friends,
One summer we lived in a campground so we could save up enough money to buy a mobile home. Ronnie Jay was five years old at the time and soon became friends with Lyndon, the campground owner’s grandson. The two boys had many good times together. The thought of many fun things to keep them occupied. Some of those things got them into trouble.
The campground had a swimming pool. Many of the campers found the cool water refreshing in the North Carolina heat and humidity. The boys decided that the toads that lived everywhere around would enjoy a swim to cool off too. They caught some and tossed them into the pool. They were surprised that the toads were not happy with their swim. They got an added benefit to their mischief. Those toads made the girls scream. That was all two little boys needed to give them entertainment. After that they occasionally tossed a few toads into the pool just to hear the screams of fright.
Those girls were afraid, too, of the bats that flew around the lights that were around the pool at night. The bats were not interested in the people; they were busy getting a nice meal of insects that were attracted to the lighted pool area. But these girls did not understand, so they were frightened.
Often times we react in the same way to a situation that we do not understand and figuratively fight and kick and scream when things go wrong in our lives. How many times we think God is unfair in His dealings with us, but that is because we do not see the whole picture. We do not see that the very thing that is so distasteful to us, is the very thing we must go through to make us ready for Heaven. Paul tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Rom 8:28
Like Job, we do not understand why troubles and trials come our way. God’s Word reveals what was going on behind the scenes in Job’s case in order to give us comfort and hope when we are going through trials. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.” Prov 3:5-7 Precious Redeemer! Wonderful Friend! “Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!” Psa 107:15
God “hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.” Ps 103:10-14 We can rest in His promises. “Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God.” Isa 43:1-3 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jer 29:11-13
May we “trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him.” Psa 37:3-7 May we allow Him to lead in our lives in the way He knows is best. May we daily look for the blessings He showers upon us and praise Him with a grateful heart.
Rose

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. Matthew 25:41.
It is possible for men to offer the Saviour outward homage, to be Christians in profession, to have a form of godliness, while the heart, whose loyalty He prizes above all else, is estranged from Him. Such ones have a name to live, but they are dead….
To the marriage supper of the Lamb will come many who have not on the wedding garment—the robe [Christ] purchased for them with His lifeblood. From lips that never make a mistake come the words, “Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment?” (Matthew 22:12). Those [thus] addressed are speechless. They know that words would be useless. The truth, with its sanctifying power, has not been brought into the soul, and the tongue that once spoke so readily of the truth is now silent. The words are then spoken, “Take them out of My presence. They are not worthy to taste of My supper” (cf. Luke 14:24).
As they are separated from the loyal ones, Christ looks upon them with deep sorrow. They occupied high positions of trust in God’s work, but they have not the life insurance policy that would have entitled them to eternal life. From the quivering lips of Christ come the mournful words of regret, “I loved them; I gave My life for them; but they persisted in rejecting My pleadings, and continued in sin. O that thou hadst known, even thou, in this thy day, the things which belong to thy peace! But now they are hid from thine eyes.”
Today Christ is looking with sadness upon those whose characters He must at last refuse to acknowledge. Inflated with self-sufficiency, they hope that it will be well with their souls. But at the last great day, the mirror of detection reveals to them the evil that their hearts have practiced, and shows them at the same time the impossibility of reform. Every effort was made to bring them to repentance. But they refused to humble their hearts. Now the bitter lamentation is heard, “The harvest is past, the summer is ended, and my soul is not saved” (cf. Jeremiah 8:20)….
What a scene is this! I pass over the ground again and again, bowed down in an agony that no tongue can express, as I see the end of the many, many who have refused to receive their Saviour. Justice will take the throne, and the arm strong to save will show itself strong to smite and destroy the enemies of the kingdom of God. Christ will lay bare the motives and deeds of everyone. Every hidden action will stand out as clearly before the doer as if proclaimed before the universe.—Manuscript 121, October 14, 1903, “A Solemn Warning.”
The Upward Look p. 301
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prayer Requests
—-Please pray for Sheryl who broke her arm recently. It is not healing properly, so the doctors are going to put a pin in this Friday. Eileen
—-I know that some of you have prayed for me and I am so grateful. I am on strong antibiotics but my sepsis numbers are still going up. Needless to say I am scared. This is not how I want to die. Nothing that they are doing in the hospital is helping this infection so I have decided to go home and do natural remedies. And I read that sunlight is one of the best remedies for this. I also have MMS……and several other really good natural remedies. Please pray urgently for me. Connie
—-Please pray for D and J as they travel today. LS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Friends,
This morning, I received an email asking if I still had the “Fifteen Steps to a Happy Marriage” that I had written some years ago. So I thought I’d share it with all of you this morning.
Fifteen Easy Steps to a Happy Marriage
1. Make Jesus the center of your life. Have morning and evening worship together each day as well as having your own private devotions. As you grow closer to Christ, you will draw closer to each other.
2. Communicate. Spend at least thirty minutes each day in meaningful conversation. Speak of your joys, sorrows, hopes for the future, and the happenings of the day while you were apart.
3. Problems will arise. When they do, pray together before you start to discuss the problem. Study to see what the Bible says in regard to the subject. Discuss the problem and find the solution together. (If you feel yourself getting angry, stop the discussion immediately, pray, and resume the discussion later.)
4. Tell each other “I love you” every day. You might think that your marriage partner knows you love him/her, but he/she might be feeling very unloved and taken for granted. (This is a good rule to remember when you are blessed with children. Even teens need to know that you love them, even though they may not admit it.)
5. Never make unkind remarks. When you say an unkind word to your mate, it hurts him/her badly and the hurt doesn’t go away easily. Even if he/she forgives you, the hurt is still there.
6. Never hit each other. Violence is not God’s way and will cause untold misery for both of you.
7. Be very tender in your intimate relations. Remember that there are holy angels watching even in your bedroom. If one of you is uncomfortable with something intimate, it would be better to avoid it than to push your desires onto the other one. There are many years ahead to spend with each other.
8. Do the finances together. By doing this, you both know what is available and can discuss purchases together. Make a budget and stick to it. As you use this budget for a few months, it may need to be revised. Revise the budget together to keep reminding yourself just what it entails.
9. Be honest with each other. For your future happiness, it is extremely important to tell each other the things in your past that may have a direct bearing on the future. This should be done before marriage.
10. Don’t be too proud to apologize. Sometimes the only thing it would take to solve an argument are two little words: “I’m sorry.” Don’t be too proud to forgive. An apology is of no effect if it is not forgiven. Make it your policy never to go to bed angry at each other.
11. Don’t forget to cuddle. When sitting together, cuddling can make a couple bond more than most other activities. Just before you go to sleep, cuddle for a few minutes—-not for sex, but for the secure feeling that it gives you.
12. Attend church together each week. Even if you move away and you aren’t familiar with the churches in the new area, make sure that you do not neglect this important part of your marriage. “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together.” Heb 10:25
13. Stay true to your marriage vows. Over the years, you may find someone who seems attractive to you. Avoid this person as much as possible and remind yourself what made you fall in love with your partner in the first place. This is very important, as being faithful to each other is the only way a marriage commitment will be successful.
14. Be best friends. Set aside a certain amount of time each week when you can spend time doing fun things together just like you did during courtship. If you do have other friends, they should be someone that both of you feel comfortable with. Don’t value these friends more highly than you value your mate.
15. When children come. If and when you do start a family, make sure your children know they are not an inconvenience to you. Let them know that you are always there to help them. Set aside time for them. As they are growing up, set an example for them. Teach them about God and how they can become like Him. Remember, “By beholding we become changed”—that works with children too. When they grow up and move out of your home, keep in close contact with them and have a good and loving relationship with them even though they are miles away. © 2003 Rosa Hartwell