Joseph has forgiven his brothers. We don’t know exactly when Joseph forgave them, but it was obviously long before they showed up. Joseph probably would never have thrived in Egypt if he had not forgiven because, most likely, the anger and bitterness would have eaten away at his soul and damaged his relations with the Lord.

Several studies of survivors of tragedy inflicted on them by others have highlighted the fact that for victims of the most horrible suffering, forgiveness was a key factor to find healing and to get their lives together again. Without forgiveness, we remain victims. Forgiveness has more to do with ourselves than with the person or persons who have wronged us.

Even though Joseph has forgiven his brothers, he is not willing to let the family relationships pick up where he left them; that is, at the dry pit at Dothan. He has to see if anything has changed.

What does Joseph overhear? Read Genesis 42:21-24. What does he learn about his brothers?

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All communication has been taking place through an interpreter, and so Joseph’s brothers are unaware that he can understand them. Joseph hears his brothers’ confession. The brothers had thought that by getting rid of Joseph, they would be free from his reporting to their father. They thought that they would not have to put up with his dreams or watch him revel in the role of being their father’s favorite. But instead of finding rest, they have been plagued by a guilty conscience all these years. Their deed had led to restlessness and a paralyzing fear of God’s retribution. Joseph actually feels sorry for their suffering. He weeps for them.

Joseph knows that the famine will still last several more years, and so he insists that they bring Benjamin back with them the next time they come to buy grain (Genesis 42:20). He also keeps Simeon hostage (Genesis 42:24).

After seeing that Benjamin is still alive, he organizes a feast in which he obviously shows favoritism to Benjamin (Genesis 43:34) to see if the old patterns of jealousy were still there. The brothers don’t show any signs of being jealous, but Joseph knows how cunning they can be. After all, they did deceive a whole town (Genesis 34:13), and he surely figures that they must have lied to their own father about his fate (Genesis 37:31-34). So, he devises one more major test. (See Genesis 44:1-34.)

<–Sunday Tuesday–>

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Eventually, things moved in the right direction for Joseph, big time. He not only gets out of prison, but he is made prime minister of Egypt after interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams (Genesis 41:1-57). He is married and has two children of his own (Genesis 41:50-52). The storehouses of Egypt are full, and the predicted famine has begun. And then, one day, Joseph’s brothers turn up in Egypt.

Read the first encounter between Joseph and his brothers in Genesis 42:7-20. Why the elaborate plot? What was Joseph trying to do with this first meeting?

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Joseph had the power and could have taken his revenge on his brothers without having to justify himself. But, rather than revenge, Joseph is concerned about the members of his family at home. He is worried about his father. Was he still alive, or had a dysfunctional family become a family without a patriarch? And what about his brother Benjamin? As his father’s delight and joy, Benjamin was now in the same position that Joseph had been. Had the brothers transferred their dangerous jealousy to Benjamin? Joseph is now in a position to look out for these vulnerable people in his family, and he does just that.

Practicing biblical principles in our relationships will not mean that we ever can or should accept abuse. Each one of us is precious in God’s sight. Jesus paid the ultimate price on the cross for each one of us.

Why does Jesus take abuse or neglect of others so personally? Read Matthew 25:41-46.

We have all been bought through Jesus’ blood, and legally we are all His. Anyone who is abusive is attacking Jesus’ property.

Sexual abuse and emotional or physical violence are never to be a part of family dynamics. This is not just private family business to be resolved internally. This will need outside help and intervention. If you or someone in your family is being abused, please get help from a trusted professional.

<–Sabbath Monday–>

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Sabbath Afternoon

Read for This Week’s Study: Genesis 42:7-20, Matt:25:41-46, Genesis 42:21-24, Genesis 45:1-15, Luke 23:34, Genesis 50:15-21.

Memory Text: “But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:5).

A man had been accused of sexually assaulting a woman. She positively identified him in a police line up. Though evidence made his guilt questionable, the woman was adamant that “Johnny” was the guilty party.

And so Johnny went to prison, where he rotted for 14 years for a crime that he did not commit. Only when DNA evidence exonerated him did the woman, “Joan,” realize her terrible mistake.

She wanted to meet Johnny after he had been released. What would this man, who suffered so much, do when he came face-to-face with the woman who had ruined his life for so many years?

She was in a room, waiting for him to come. When he did, and they looked each other in the eyes, Joan burst into tears.

“Johnny just leaned down and took my hands, and he looked at me and said, ‘I forgive you.’ I couldn’t believe it. Here was this man whom I had hated and whom I wanted only to die. And yet, now, here he was, telling me, who had done him so much wrong, that he forgave me? Only then did I begin to understand what grace was really about. And only then did I begin to heal and have true rest.”

This week we will look at forgiveness and what it can do for restless human hearts.

Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, August 14.

Sunday–>

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It was a novel idea, and it did sound logical. But  it  didn’t feel right: “We must love ourselves first, or we cannot love others as Jesus told us to.” The speaker  at our dorm vespers explained that, since Jesus told to love others as we love ourselves, we must first love ourselves. As a teenager  in the 1960’s, I was taken aback  by this idea. It didn’t match what I understood from my Bible study. 

In a few decades, however, this teaching  of self-love took root in Adventist churches. Preachers preached it. Teachers taught it. There was a veritable tsunami of sermons and articles all teaching the same thing – love yourself, so you can love others. It sounded right because the emphasis was largely on finding our worth in the price Christ paid for us. After all, the worth of any product is determined by the price someone is willing to pay.

So, what do you think? Have you heard it? Have you read it? Or have you not noticed?

After hearing the message that first time, I believe I disproved it in my own experience while still a teenager. I did not “love myself” as I was supposed to. Instead, I was painfully shy and self-conscious. As a bright student, I was a year or more younger than everyone else in my classes. Although I loved my classes, outside the classroom, I felt shy, socially overwhelmed and inferior. I believe it was God Who inspired me to look out for others who seemed shy, lonely, left out or awkward and try to brighten their lives – even if only by a smile and a cheery “Hi, how are you?” In doing that, my shyness and self-consciousness largely melted away – even if I did still feel a little overwhelmed by all the sophisticated teens around me. I didn’t have to first love myself in order to act in love toward others.

When I met the self-esteem/ self-love/ self-image message in Christianity and Adventism again about thirty years ago, I decided to do a little research, and  I discovered the book The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image, by Jay E. Adams. His message immediately resonated with me. ¹

Adams points out what I had already concluded, that . . .

“Jesus actually presupposes a love of self in this passage He says, “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” The command is to love your neighbor as you already love yourself. The verse could be translated literally, “You must love your neighbor as you are loving yourself.”  (The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image, by Jay E. Adams, p. 60)

Particularly fascinating is the chapter, “An Accurate Self-Image,” which references results of surveys of high school students, with 60 percent rating themselves “in the top 10 percent” in “ability to get along with others” and other equally interesting self-ratings.

“In one study, 94 percent of college faculty think themselves better than their average colleague.” (The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image, by Jay E. Adams, p. 113)

Criminals also tend to have high self-esteem, contrary to generally accepted “facts.”  Yet, biblically, it makes sense. Focus on self is opposed to God’s Kingdom law and generates bad results. 

Nowadays it seems that everyone “just knows” you can’t love others properly until you first love yourself. What is taught in the church is better than what is taught in the world’s success seminars which depend on telling yourself how great you are.²  Preachers and teachers tell us to find our worth in Christ. However, that still sounds  like self-focus to me, and maybe that’s why it often doesn’t seem to work with people who are depressed or suffer from feelings of low self-worth. ³ In my experience with such people, what has worked over and over again with both adults, young people and children was to lead them to minister to others in some way – just as it helped me as a teenager. By serving others, we experience that we are of value. God made us in such a way that it feels good.  When Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you ” (Matt 6:33) He was not pronouncing an arbitrary blessing for obedience, but a natural law of His creation. He created humans in such a way that when we know we “do good” – when we serve others – the brain releases powerful “happy hormones” that are much safer than the drugs people use to make themselves feel good. ⁴

When I say that Jesus did not tell us to “love ourselves first,” I meet protests of, “But Jesus doesn’t want us to hate ourselves!” True enough. He loves us enough to die for us, and that, by itself, demonstrates that we are valuable.  Self-hatred is also a focus on self. Jesus didn’t tell us to love ourselves or to hate ourselves. Jesus lived a life of self-forgetfulness. He didn’t think about Himself at all. That doesn’t mean He didn’t take care of His body temple. ⁵ But it does mean He looked to the Father for direction and support, and He lived to serve others daily. And that is exactly the lifestyle He has in mind for us. Don’t focus on self in pride or shame. Focus on service to God and others. It’s the only lifestyle that will make us happy. It’s a law of His Kingdom. 

I recommend re-reading the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, 6 and 7 to see if it doesn’t all fit into a philosophy of loving self-forgetfulness. Along with the Bible, I recommend the book Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, by Ellen G. White,⁶ which has helped me see so much more in what Christ said on that mountain long ago. It is worth reading, re-reading and re-reading again, many times. Here are some relevant excerpts:

“Jesus emptied Himself, and in all that He did, self did not appear. He subordinated all things to the will of His Father.” (page 14)

… he who learns of Christ is emptied of self, of pride, of love of supremacy, and there is silence in the soul.” (page 15)

“When we receive Christ as an abiding guest in the soul, the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, will keep our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (page 15)

Can you imagine anything more restful than “silence in the soul”? I can’t. 

What are your thoughts?

Footnotes:

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Asking God for $100

By Andrew McChesney

Eighteen-year-old college student Roman Cardwell prayed a simple prayer before leaving home in Salem, a city in the U.S. state of Oregon.

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“God, if you give me $100, I will buy stuff for the homeless,” he prayed.

As a full-time welding student, Roman didn’t have much money of his own. He didn’t tell anyone about his morning prayer.

Later that day he drove to the supermarket, grabbed an empty shopping cart, and began pushing it down an aisle. Finding a bag of bagels, he placed it in the cart. After that, he picked up a container of cream cheese to go with the bagels.

Then he looked down. His eyes widened in surprise. Lying in the cart was a crisp $100 bill. He blinked and picked up the money. The word “Benny” was written across it.

“Benny” is somewhat of a celebrity in Salem. For years, somebody named “Benny” has been going into local stores and sneaking $100 bills into shopping carts and purses or placing the money behind goods on the shelves. The unknown benefactor always writes the name “Benny” on the money, and it is believed that “Benny” has given away $50,000.

As soon as Roman stepped out of the supermarket, he called his father to tell him about his secret prayer and the unexpected answer.

“What do the homeless need most?” Roman asked. “I want to go shopping for them now.”

His father, Dale Cardwell, couldn’t have been happier. He is the pastor of Inside Out Ministries, a Seventh-day Adventist church in Salem that has more homeless members than members who have homes.

“We see miracles everyday as we minister to the gangs, homeless, and severely broken,” he said in an interview.

He has many questions for God about the remarkable answer to his son’s prayer: Who placed the money in the cart? Why was Roman’s cart chosen? Did God tell “Benny” about the prayer? What if Roman had asked for $1,000? What if we all made selfless requests to God?

James 4:2-3 says, “You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (NIV).

While Roman and his father assist the marginalized in Salem, part of this quarter’s Thirteenth Sabbath Offering with help a marginalized group — refugees — across the North American Division. You can be a “Benny” and plan a generous contribution.

Produced by the General Conference Office of Adventist Mission.
Find more mission stories at adventistmission[dot]org

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