Further Study: “You should take time to talk and pray with your little ones, and you should allow nothing to interrupt that season of communion with God and with your children. You can say to your visitors, ‘God has given me a work to do, and I have no time for gossiping’. You should feel that you have a work to do for time and for eternity. You owe your first duty to your children”. – Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, pages 266, 267.

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“Parents, you should commence your first lesson of discipline when your children are babes in your arms. Teach them to yield their will to yours. This can be done by bearing an even hand, and manifesting firmness. Parents should have perfect control over their own spirits, and with mildness and yet firmness bend the will of the child until it shall expect nothing else but to yield to their wishes. Parents do not commence in season. The first manifestation of temper is not subdued, and the children grow stubborn, which increases with their growth and strengthens with their strength”. – Ellen G. White, Testimonies for the Church, vol. 1, p. 218.

Discussion Questions:

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Read Proverbs 22:6. What is your understanding of this passage? Is this a guarantee, a promise, or a probability?

Sometimes as a parent you do everything you should—spend time teaching your children the right things, live according to your knowledge of God, send them to good schools, attend church regularly, become involved in mission work with them—and they end up leaving the faith in which you raised them.

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The amount of pain is excruciating, and there is not a moment of rest from your concern for their salvation. The cause is not necessarily the parent’s fault. Children have minds of their own and are ultimately responsible to God for their actions.

Some have taken the words “when he is old he will not depart from it” as a promise, a guarantee that proper parenting will always result in their child’s salvation. But Proverbs often gives us principles and not always unconditional promises. What we can take out of this text is the assurance that the lessons learned in childhood will last a lifetime. Every child reaches an age when they either accept the heritage of their parents as their own or reject it. Those parents who were careful to provide their children with godly training have the assurance that what they taught their children will always be with them, and if or when their children walk away, the seeds they planted in their hearts will continuously be in them calling them home. Being a good parent is our choice; how our children turn out is theirs.

What should a parent do when a child goes astray? Turn your children over to God in earnest prayer. If anybody understands your pain, it is God, whose children, by the billions, have turned their backs on Him, the perfect parent. You can support your prodigals with love and prayer and be ready to stand alongside them as they wrestle with God.

Don’t be too embarrassed to ask for support and prayer, don’t blame yourself, and don’t be so focused on the prodigal that you forget the rest of the family. Parenting a prodigal can divide your household; so, build a unified front with your spouse and set clear boundaries for your child. Remember that God loves your child more than you do, look to a brighter future, and accept that your child is God’s work in progress.

Amen!(3)

Read Genesis 18:18-19 and 1 Samuel 3:10-14. Contrast these two fathers. What were the results of their parenting styles?

Addiction

Parents have a responsibility to be the disciplemakers of their children, so they will become disciples of Jesus themselves. There are parents who believe that the way to teach and correct their children is by applying physical punishment—the more, the better (Prov. 22:15, Prv. 23:13, Prov. 29:15). Passages like these have been misused to abuse children and force them into total submission, but often that has also led to rebellion against their parents and God.

The Bible teaches parents to govern with kindness (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21) and to instruct children in righteousness (Ps. 78:5, Prov. 22:6, Isa. 38:19, Joel 1:3). As parents we ought to provide for our children (2 Cor. 12:14) and set a good example for them to follow (Gen. 18:19, Exod. 13:8, Titus 2:2). We are told to direct our households well (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 1 Tim. 3:12) and to discipline our children (Prov. 29:15, Prov. 29:17) while at the same time reflecting God’s love (Isa. 66:13, Ps. 103:13, Luke 11:11).

Sadly, the Bible reveals stories of parenting gone wrong. Isaac and Rebekah played favorites with their sons, Esau and Jacob (Gen. 25:28), and later Jacob displayed the same attitude toward Joseph (Gen. 37:3). Eli, even though he was a religious leader, failed to correct his children (1 Sam. 3:10-14). Samuel, who was also raised by Eli, turned out to be a very deficient father himself (1 Sam. 8:1-6). King David, by committing adultery and ordering a murder, taught his children who followed his example. King Manasseh sacrificed his children to demons (2 Kings 21:1- 9), as did King Ahaz (2 Kings 16:2-4).

Fortunately, however, we also find in the Scriptures some examples of good parenting. Mordecai was a wonderful adoptive father to Hadassah, Queen Esther (Esther 2:7), and Job prayed for his children regularly (Job 1:4-5). In all of these examples, good and bad, we can glean lessons on parenting.

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You can view an in-depth discussion of “Season of Parenting” in the Hope Sabbath School class led by Pastor Derek Morris. You may download an MP4 video file, and audio file or a PDF lesson outline from the HopeSS site.

With thanks to Hope Channel – Television that will change your life.

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1. Parenting issues by God’s people.  Especially in the Old Testament, the Bible shares stories both of parenting and of being childless as well as the agony of losing children through death or never having children due to circumstances. Still, in some sense, aren’t we all parents? Don’t we all sense a spirit of love and obligation for all of the children we come to know in this tangled world? God said to Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply,” but did that mean “I can bless you only if you become parents and raise a family?” Shouldn’t we just try not to take a dogmatic stand about the obligation of having children in the family and focus instead on the opportunities we do have to provide love and support for all children that come within our circle of caring?  

2. Single parenting.  
   

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   Our lesson author points out the likelihood that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was  a single parent during her Son’s ministry. It’s hard to imagine the suffering she endured without her husband by her side. How do you think she was able to endure her role as a single parent during the tumultuous years of Jesus’ ministry and sacrifice? What a challenge! What do you think sustained her? Do you know any single parents in your church or neighborhood? Are you able to support the church in its ministry to these troubled people? What do single parents need most from fellow Christians? How can you and I help to meet their needs? What about the wife of an unbelieving husband? In what ways does that situation resemble single parenting? How can we reach out to people with needs that can threaten their spiritual unity in Christ? 

3. The joy and responsibility of parenting. Even normal energy-driven youngsters can drive parents to the brink of sanity, but what about children with special needs?  You probably thank the Lord every day for children who are within the bounds of “normal,” but can challenges erupt even in the most sensible homes? How can parents introduce Jesus to their children? How young can a child be when he or she begins to understand the story of Jesus? Can songs and stories even before a level of true understanding develops help prepare the youngster just two or three years old for a life with Jesus? What other ways should a Christian parent follow to present to their children as they begin to learn more about Jesus? Think about your early childhood and how events and feelings developed within the family setting that set the stage for your life in Jesus as a grownup.  How much should we pray for God to guide our thinking as we deal with youngsters in the home? 
4. Parenting as disciple-making.  Physical punishment–is that the most effective way to instill discipline in a child? What is the biggest risk when we apply physical pain and suffering on a child in the hopes it will make him or her a helpful Christian?  Of course children will disappoint us at times. How should we respond so that the child absorbs a sense of continuing love even though his or her behavior has disappointed us as a parent? Horrible stories from the Bible are mentioned in passing in this lesson, including those telling about how Kings Manasseh and Ahaz sacrificed their children to demons. What does the Bible say about reflecting God’s love even when punishment is necessary? Can we be loving and still require respectful obedience from our children? How? 
5. Your prodigal child. You may know of a modern-day child who escaped all parental guidance to make it on his or her own and ended  up in horrible circumstances. Let’s think about  the story in the New Testament of the young son who was so eager to get out on his own that he demanded his inheritance in advance and left. Put yourself in that father’s place years later when his son, broke and broken, stumbled back into his father’s arms. Could you have been as loving and forgiving as that father was to his wayward child? Do you think that son ever harbored a jealous or angry thought toward his father again? How did the events of the story affect his brother? How often are Christians like you and I tempted to feel jealousy when a wayward son or daughter comes back to a home and receives full acceptance in spite of his or her behavior? What is the cure for that kind of a judgmental attitude?

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