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You are here: Home / Archives for answers for me

My Brain and God’s Love

January 23, 2019 By admin

Several years ago I took an exam to officially become a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. I had been working towards this for eight years and was so excited that I would soon clear the last hurdle. In the months and weeks leading up to the exam, I reviewed everything that I learned during graduate school and, at the same time, reminisced about my journey.

One memory in particular, of when I was about to take my first neuroscience class, stuck out. The class required that I memorize all of the structures of the brain and their functions. During a conversation with a peer who had taken the class a year before, I mentioned that I was nervous about the course, explaining that memorization was not my strong suit.

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “You’re going to love this class.”

She went on to explain to me that all brain structures are made up of tiny cells called neurons. Their job is to communicate with one another, and to send information from the brain to other parts of the body. What’s really cool about neurons, though, is that neuronal connections get stronger and stronger the more we use them. For example, learning how to ride a bike is difficult, at first, because all the neurons involved in that task can’t communicate with one another very well yet. But the more one practices riding a bike, the connection between those neurons strengthens, and the task becomes easier.

“So,” my classmate said, “It’s not that you’re not good at memorizing. It’s just that you have to keep practicing and strengthening the connection the neurons involved in memorization.”

It turns out that there’s truth to what my friend said. Neuroscientists are now discovering that human ability is a lot more flexible than previously believed. Our brain is capable of growing and becoming stronger; we just have to work hard at it.

That realization changed the way I looked at myself and how I approached my studies.

Similarly, I’ve found myself believing that the love of God is more finite than it actually is and that has affected the way that I treat myself and others. But the truth is that God’s love is infinite! The knowledge of that changes the way I look at myself and at the world. And the best part is: I don’t have to work for it. Jesus paid it all.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).

Jael Amador writes from New York.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

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Filed Under: News and Feeds, Vegetarian recipes Tagged With: answers for me, changed-the-way, changes-the-way, christ-jesus, clear-the-last, connection, from-the-brain, keep-practicing, neurons, structures, wisdom

The Cosmic Locator

January 22, 2019 By admin

I follow a few reality television programs. One of them consistently makes me cry. I am eating my lunch and turn into a blubbering mess. I love “The Locator,” and always get emotional at the end of episodes when adoptees or their parents/siblings find missing family members. Someone sends a powerful video explaining their desire to find a lost or missing family members to this private investigator. He has a team of searchers who find records and phone numbers, then he flies to places and attempts to reconnect people — if they are willing. Those who find missing siblings or parents often cry that now they have found the missing hole in their lives, or the missing puzzle piece of completeness. The missing parents often explain that they had to let a baby go due to difficult circumstances and always wondered what happened to the child. People cling to tattered photos and bits of memories.

And I wonder why I find this program so satisfying. Perhaps it’s just that my one brother means so much to me, or that my father was an only child. Perhaps I once had an in utero twin since this is so moving to me. I have a friend and some family members who are adopted so I do think of them as I watch families get reunited. I have had a client who has been separated from family for many years. I see how completely alone this person has become. I had hoped at one time that family members could be located however, that may never happen. I wish that for everyone even though I realize it is not without risk. I cannot wrap my head around people having no other family members to share in their lives, even though I know there are some who are better off without toxic family members.

As a child I wanted to have an “animal orphanage.” I tried to rescue baby lambs in our barnyard however, that turned into a disaster when it was explained to me that the mothers would return to their babies as long as they didn’t smell like humans. Hence several pet lambs. My last dog is a rescue and I will gladly make that choice again. The rescued one just seems so glad to be apart of the family, and to be loved. As though gratitude is what he exhales.

Perhaps I am just a hopeless rescuer. My default position is that no one should be alone or die alone. I attempt to guard against that as a weakness for my professional life. I can see the complications in the lives of some of my clients. Crossing boundaries, mothering, smothering, refusing to let go of others…suffocating enmeshments. Yet that is different from being a “locator” — facilitating the restoration of ties and then letting love grow as it is nurtured by those involved.

Could that be the essence of joy that our God experiences every time someone comes to Him and there is reconciliation? The lost son, the lost lamb, the lost coin are all there to remind us (Luke 15). The collective sob and sigh of the universe when He gathers His own back into His arms of love? Jesus Christ, the Locator — searching for all the lost children and wanting to fill that empty spot in their hearts, and His.

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem… how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing” (Matthew 23:3, NIV).

Questions for personal journaling or group discussion:

1. How do you see God in the adoption process?

2. What has been the outcome of some of your rescuing attempts? Or do you wait to be rescued?

The post The Cosmic Locator appeared first on Answers for Me.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

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Filed Under: News and Feeds, Vegetarian recipes Tagged With: adoption, answers for me, chicks, child, jesus-christ, lost, missing puzzle piece, navigating, professional

Melting Ice

January 16, 2019 By admin

Falling down on the ice isn’t as inconsequential as it once seemed when I was a kid. There’s something about frozen water on a pedestrian passageway that gets my attention. As an adult I’ve occasionally fallen hard on slippery surfaces, and not once have I enjoyed it. Between scraping my entire right shin from my ankle to my kneecap, and knocking the wind out of myself to a point where it felt like I might never get my breath back, I do my level best to avoid getting “horizontal” when going outside during the winter months.

When I was younger, I never thought twice about running across an icy area and allowing my winter boots to slide me the rest of the way to my destination, but now I look for methods of avoiding icy pathways. I’ve even been known to wade into the deep, snowy sidelines of a perfectly smooth sidewalk to escape the treacherously glassy patches of ice that sometimes hide themselves beneath the fine powdery dusting of snow that grazes the cement.

There are a number of methods for getting rid of the ice that has accumulated on the surfaces that people tread. One can chop and pick away at it with a sidewalk scraper but this can take some time depending on the thickness of the ice. Waiting for the warm weather of spring is certainly an option but one that I haven’t had the luxury of experiencing during my working years. I guess I could move my family to warmer climates, but I like it here.

I usually opt for the melting method, and although there are a number of products that can be purchased to complete this task, most often I find myself loading a large bag of plain rock salt into the shopping cart. This product doesn’t seem so chemical-laden to me, and besides, if there’s ever a time when I need to make homemade ice cream, that task is almost impossible without having some rock salt around.

If the sidewalk by our home is icy, I don’t chip, scrape and fuss. I grab the bag of rock salt. It takes only a few minutes to spread an even layer over the surface and then I go back inside. Fifteen to 20 minutes later, and I can see bare cement once again.  I still proceed with caution but I am thankful for the melting qualities of those briny little crystals.

“You are the salt of the earth…” ( Matthew 5:13).

I know, I know…this verse is speaking about the idea that salt flavors things, and in the broader context, those who claim to follow the Creator ought to bring a godly, savory zest to everything that they come in contact with.  I do believe, however, that the ability to also use that salty flavor of character to melt away some of the behavioral “icy-ness” we experience in our daily interactions with others helps to smooth out life’s surface.  Why take the chance of slipping and falling in our encounters with others…when we can use salt?

Michael Temple writes from North Dakota.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

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Filed Under: News and Feeds, Vegetarian recipes Tagged With: answers for me, crossings, dangerous ice, earth, melting, melting ice, michael-temple, rock salt, shopping, smooth-out-life

Highway Thoughts

January 14, 2019 By admin

“Dad, why are you pulling over?” I asked, as our blue SUV came to a stop on the side of the highway.

“The radiator’s overheated,” he replied.

I felt a knot in my stomach. We had worked too hard for this to happen. My brother Michael, a couple friends and I had been traveling for almost 18 hours straight from our college in Washington to California. Now we were driving with my dad to Leoni Meadows Camp, where 400 high school students would be arriving in a few hours for a weekend Bible retreat. Michael, Dean, Gabby and I were the band. God had given us a job to do.

Honestly, I was frustrated about the car. These sorts of things always happen when God gave us a job to do. My brother and I had made the same trek a few years earlier, and it turned out to be one of the most stressful weekends of my life. We missed our flight, took a frantic drive to another airport, had two flat tires, and a near-death experience involving a foot-long wrench whizzing by me while I stood by the side of the road. I was not ready for another one of these weekends.

We piled out of the car, and Dad checked under the hood. “Our radiator did overheat,” he confirmed. “We need water to cool it down.”

We didn’t have any with us. We needed a miracle.

We got in a circle and prayed. I hoped that God would provide, but, secretly, I didn’t see a way out of this mess.

We glanced around and noticed a little stream down the bank by the side of the road, complete with a break in the fence to provide access to it. We found an empty water jug in the trunk of the car and used it to fill the radiator with fresh, cool water, and a few minutes later Dad decided to see if the car would start. I paid attention, hopeful that this would be the miracle we had asked for.

My dad turned the key… and nothing.

I felt dejected. And slightly unsurprised. After our escapade two years ago, I kind of expected we’d be stuck here forever.

With nothing left to do except wait, we decided to run through the songs for that night. But as we started singing the last song, something inside of me felt different.

We sang the words, “Our God is greater / our God is stronger / God you are higher than any other / our God is healer / awesome in power/ our God,” but it didn’t feel like practice. I felt connected to God in a way that I hadn’t felt before. I didn’t even think about our situation, I just let the worry go. For those five minutes, it was all about God.

When we finished Dad tried the key one more time. We heard an unexpected sound – the engine starting – and suddenly I knew that I had just witnessed something amazing. Our God really is greater than whatever is working against us. He’s bigger than our secrets, our fears, and our bad attitudes. And that day I learned that he wants nothing more than to take care of us.

Heather Bradley-Robbins writes from the Pacific Northwest.

The post Highway Thoughts appeared first on Answers for Me.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

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Filed Under: Dear God, News and Feeds Tagged With: airport, answers for me, bible, car trouble, god's leading, leoni-meadows, road, road travel, sang-the-words, story-harvest, under-the-hood

Dying with Dignity

January 10, 2019 By admin

Dr. Death (Jack Kevorkian) made headlines in the 1980s with his beliefs about euthanasia. In a 1998 article, he admitted to helping more than 130 people to end their lives. Not everyone was appalled by Kevorkian’s thoughts about assisted suicide, though.

In the early 1990s, I was a reporter for a small-town newspaper and interviewed Derek Humphry, who founded the Hemlock Society. His book, Final Exit, provided information to dying people to aid them in dying. His society and his book also supported legislation permitting physician-assisted suicide. It was an interesting interview and a subsequent article — showing both sides of the debate.

Since 1994, three states have enacted Death with Dignity laws: Oregon, Washington, and Vermont. These laws allow mentally competent, terminally-ill adult state residents to voluntarily request and receive a prescription medication to hasten their death.

Mom and I used to talk that when her time came to die, and she was suffering with no hope for recovery, that I would assist her in dying. It was just talk and we didn’t really believe it was possible. But there is a way to legally let health-care workers know a person’s wishes when they are beyond the ability to verbalize those wishes. My mother had an Advance Health Care Directive (aka Living Will), that she had prepared long before she became terminally ill, enabling my brother to “pull the plug” when she was put on life-support — her wish, all legal.

An Advance Health Care Directive provides a clear statement of wishes about your choice to prolong your life or to withhold or withdraw treatment. “Pull the plug” sounds harsh, but we were so clear about her wishes, that we knew we were doing the compassionate act.

She also had an updated will, a durable power of attorney for finances, and had fully paid for cremation services. A pre-nuptial agreement with my step-father left no question of her wishes. We children were, of course, saddened by her passing, but we were never confused about final arrangements.

Planning for end of life — even if you believe there’s no need — is what I consider “dying with dignity.” It also makes your mourning family grateful for your foresight.

For additional information about end-of-life decisions, visit here. Also, if you’re concerned about the cost of these documents, I got mine at a reasonable cost from LegalZoom.com.

Dixie Litten Whited writes from Virginia.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

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Filed Under: Dear God, News and Feeds Tagged With: advance-health, answers for me, compassionate, dying with dignity, end of life, jack kevorkian, news and feeds, pull-the-plug, these-documents, wishes

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