Adventists are a special breed: committed, passionate, and often hilariously particular about… well, everything. If your goal is to alienate your friends while remaining a devout churchgoer, here’s a foolproof guide. 1. Correct Everyone’s Biblical Interpretation Whether it’s a casual dinner conversation or a friendly Bible study, interrupting people to explain why you are right […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-how-to-lose-friends-and-alienate-people-adventist-edition/

SILVER SPRING, Maryland — Adventist pastors’ wives around the world are celebrating a groundbreaking victory with the announcement that they will be added to the official church payroll. General Conference Treasury Director Tom Briggins confirmed that pastors’ wives will be paid a stipend equal to 60-70% of local pastoral compensation. “Pastor’s Wife Stipend (PWS) is […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-all-adventist-pastors-wives-to-be-compensated-for-pain-and-suffering/

Comments of the Week November 24-30 “Thank you. Now please add a paragraph about trans and gay children and adults.” –Jack Hoehn on Lake Union Makes Official Statement on Appealing for the Human Dignity of Immigrants Comments on SATIRE: Dear Sabbath I Love You but I Need a Nap; The View From Our Different Worlds; […] Source: https://atoday.org/comments-of-the-week-nov24-30/

Sabbath, we need to talk. You’re beautiful, holy, and full of veggie meatballs — but also… kind of exhausting. The “Day of Rest” Marathon It starts at 9:15 a.m. when I’m already late for Sabbath School and pretending my lesson study happened sometime between Wednesday and “the car ride here.” By 11:00, I’ve greeted at […] Source: https://atoday.org/satire-dear-sabbath-i-love-you-but-i-need-a-nap-see-you-sunday/

Me sentía como un evangelista, agachado en el suelo de mi tienda de alimentos local, con el estante metálico clavándose en mi hombro y las ruedas del carrito golpeándome la cadera mientras buscaba el último paquete de garbanzos secos para la anciana que estaba delante de mí. Tras el recorte inicial de las prestaciones alimentarias […] Source: https://atoday.org/el-evangelio-de-los-garbanzos/