Read Genesis 18:18-19 and 1 Samuel 3:10-14. Contrast these two fathers. What were the results of their parenting styles?

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Parents have a responsibility to be the disciplemakers of their children, so they will become disciples of Jesus themselves. There are parents who believe that the way to teach and correct their children is by applying physical punishment—the more, the better (Prov. 22:15, Prv. 23:13, Prov. 29:15). Passages like these have been misused to abuse children and force them into total submission, but often that has also led to rebellion against their parents and God.

The Bible teaches parents to govern with kindness (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21) and to instruct children in righteousness (Ps. 78:5, Prov. 22:6, Isa. 38:19, Joel 1:3). As parents we ought to provide for our children (2 Cor. 12:14) and set a good example for them to follow (Gen. 18:19, Exod. 13:8, Titus 2:2). We are told to direct our households well (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 1 Tim. 3:12) and to discipline our children (Prov. 29:15, Prov. 29:17) while at the same time reflecting God’s love (Isa. 66:13, Ps. 103:13, Luke 11:11).

Sadly, the Bible reveals stories of parenting gone wrong. Isaac and Rebekah played favorites with their sons, Esau and Jacob (Gen. 25:28), and later Jacob displayed the same attitude toward Joseph (Gen. 37:3). Eli, even though he was a religious leader, failed to correct his children (1 Sam. 3:10-14). Samuel, who was also raised by Eli, turned out to be a very deficient father himself (1 Sam. 8:1-6). King David, by committing adultery and ordering a murder, taught his children who followed his example. King Manasseh sacrificed his children to demons (2 Kings 21:1- 9), as did King Ahaz (2 Kings 16:2-4).

Fortunately, however, we also find in the Scriptures some examples of good parenting. Mordecai was a wonderful adoptive father to Hadassah, Queen Esther (Esther 2:7), and Job prayed for his children regularly (Job 1:4-5). In all of these examples, good and bad, we can glean lessons on parenting.

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You can view an in-depth discussion of “Season of Parenting” in the Hope Sabbath School class led by Pastor Derek Morris. You may download an MP4 video file, and audio file or a PDF lesson outline from the HopeSS site.

With thanks to Hope Channel – Television that will change your life.

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1. Parenting issues by God’s people.  Especially in the Old Testament, the Bible shares stories both of parenting and of being childless as well as the agony of losing children through death or never having children due to circumstances. Still, in some sense, aren’t we all parents? Don’t we all sense a spirit of love and obligation for all of the children we come to know in this tangled world? God said to Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply,” but did that mean “I can bless you only if you become parents and raise a family?” Shouldn’t we just try not to take a dogmatic stand about the obligation of having children in the family and focus instead on the opportunities we do have to provide love and support for all children that come within our circle of caring?  

2. Single parenting.  
   

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   Our lesson author points out the likelihood that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was  a single parent during her Son’s ministry. It’s hard to imagine the suffering she endured without her husband by her side. How do you think she was able to endure her role as a single parent during the tumultuous years of Jesus’ ministry and sacrifice? What a challenge! What do you think sustained her? Do you know any single parents in your church or neighborhood? Are you able to support the church in its ministry to these troubled people? What do single parents need most from fellow Christians? How can you and I help to meet their needs? What about the wife of an unbelieving husband? In what ways does that situation resemble single parenting? How can we reach out to people with needs that can threaten their spiritual unity in Christ? 

3. The joy and responsibility of parenting. Even normal energy-driven youngsters can drive parents to the brink of sanity, but what about children with special needs?  You probably thank the Lord every day for children who are within the bounds of “normal,” but can challenges erupt even in the most sensible homes? How can parents introduce Jesus to their children? How young can a child be when he or she begins to understand the story of Jesus? Can songs and stories even before a level of true understanding develops help prepare the youngster just two or three years old for a life with Jesus? What other ways should a Christian parent follow to present to their children as they begin to learn more about Jesus? Think about your early childhood and how events and feelings developed within the family setting that set the stage for your life in Jesus as a grownup.  How much should we pray for God to guide our thinking as we deal with youngsters in the home? 
4. Parenting as disciple-making.  Physical punishment–is that the most effective way to instill discipline in a child? What is the biggest risk when we apply physical pain and suffering on a child in the hopes it will make him or her a helpful Christian?  Of course children will disappoint us at times. How should we respond so that the child absorbs a sense of continuing love even though his or her behavior has disappointed us as a parent? Horrible stories from the Bible are mentioned in passing in this lesson, including those telling about how Kings Manasseh and Ahaz sacrificed their children to demons. What does the Bible say about reflecting God’s love even when punishment is necessary? Can we be loving and still require respectful obedience from our children? How? 
5. Your prodigal child. You may know of a modern-day child who escaped all parental guidance to make it on his or her own and ended  up in horrible circumstances. Let’s think about  the story in the New Testament of the young son who was so eager to get out on his own that he demanded his inheritance in advance and left. Put yourself in that father’s place years later when his son, broke and broken, stumbled back into his father’s arms. Could you have been as loving and forgiving as that father was to his wayward child? Do you think that son ever harbored a jealous or angry thought toward his father again? How did the events of the story affect his brother? How often are Christians like you and I tempted to feel jealousy when a wayward son or daughter comes back to a home and receives full acceptance in spite of his or her behavior? What is the cure for that kind of a judgmental attitude?

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There is a section in our Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal called “Love in the Home”. The hymns reflect well on all aspects of our week’s lesson study.

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Hymn 650, “Our Father, by Whose Name” asks the blessing on all parents.

Hymn 651, “Happy the Home That Welcomes You” speaks of the ‘man and wife together are of one mind’.

Hymn 653, “Lead Them, My God, to Thee” tells the story of parents asking God to help them lead the children to the Lord.

Hymn 654, “Lord, Bless Our Homes” is a prayer for all our homes to ‘find in God our deep security’.

Hymn 655, “Happy the Home” shows us the growth the family goes through with our thoughts and actions always pointing to God.

Each of our communities can help our single parents (Monday) as well all families:Hymn 353, “Father, Help Your People”. We may also pray “Our God, Our Help in Ages Past”, Hymn 103 to add to our actions.

May parents follow the examples of the ‘good parents’ (Wednesday), Mordecai and Job.

Blessings to you for a wonderful Sabbath Day.

2 Timothy 2:15 KJV – “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

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Read Ps. 127:1-5. What is the basic message of this short psalm? What important principles should we take away from it for ourselves and how we live?

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When you wish to cook your favorite dish, you follow a recipe. If you add all the needed ingredients and follow all the steps, the majority of the time you get the desired results. Parenting, though, is not like cooking. No child is exactly like any other child, and even if you do everything just as you have done with other children, they can turn out different. This may have to do with their gender, the order in which they were born, their temperaments, or a host of other reasons. In God’s plan, parents would lead and teach their children to love and obey Him (Deut. 6:4-9, Ps. 78:5-7). The directive from God to parents is to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6, NKJV), not to hover over children to make sure they never make any wrong decisions.

While we want to see our children go from cuddly, defenseless, little people to independent, successful adults, our ultimate responsibility is that they come to know, love, and serve Jesus Christ. As parents, we can follow the plan for the spiritual development of our children outlined in Deuteronomy 6. There are four important prerequisites: That we recognize “the LORD our God” (Deut. 6:4), that we love Him fully from the heart (Deut. 6:5), that we treasure His Word (Deut. 6:6), and that we share with our children what we know about Him (Deut. 6:20-23).

Deuteronomy 6 continues on to provide two important principles. First, the “teach-talk” principle (Deut. 6:7). Teaching refers to formal education, while talking refers to informal instruction. In both cases, the communication of biblical truth takes place within the setting of the parent-child relationship. Formal times of teaching can happen during family worship as we study God’s Word with them. Informal teaching arises spontaneously in the circumstances of day-to-day life and is even more important. Everyday incidents can become effective vehicles for communicating biblical truth (Gen. 18:19). The second is the “bind-write” principle (Deut. 6:8-9). Spiritual truth must be bound up in our actions (“hand”) and attitudes (“head”), but it must also be inscribed in our private (“doorposts”) and public (“gates”) lives. It must move from our hearts into our homes and from our homes into the world.

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