Further Thought: Ellen G. White, “A Sacred Circle”, pages 77-180, in The Adventist Home; Testimonies for the Church, vol. 6, pages 236-238.

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Unity—the first work. “The first work of Christians is to be united in the family. … “The more closely the members of a family are united in their work in the home, the more uplifting and helpful will be the influence that father and mother and sons and daughters will exert outside the home”. – Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 37.

The secret of family unity. “The cause of division and discord in families and in the church is separation from Christ. To come near to Christ is to come near to one another. The secret of true unity in the church and in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties—though there will be much of this to do—but union with Christ”. – Page 179.

Discussion Questions:

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Ultimately, family cohesion and unity rest on the commitment of family members, beginning with the commitment of the marital partners, to care for one another. Sadly, Bible history is strewn with examples of failed promises, broken trust, and lack of commitment where it should have been present. Scripture also has stirring examples of ordinary people who, with God’s help, committed themselves to friends and families and kept their promises.

Look at the following families and their levels of commitment. How could commitment have been strengthened in some families? What encouraged the commitment shown in the others?

People in the hand of God

Parent-child commitment (Gen. 33:12-14, Exod. 2:1-10).

Sibling commitment (Gen. 37:17-28).

Family commitment (Ruth 1:16-18; Ruth 2:11-12, Ruth 2:20; Ruth 3:9-13; Ruth 4:10, Ruth 4:13).

Marital commitment (Hos. 1:2-3, Hos. 1:6, Hos. 1:8; Hos. 3:1-3).

When we commit ourselves to another person, as in marriage or in the decision to bear or adopt a child, there must be a willing surrender of ourselves in order to make a different choice in the future, a surrender of control over an important segment of our lives. Laws may restrain negative behavior, but marriage and family relationships need love within them to enable them to flourish.

Amen!(2)

Monday’s section of this week’s lesson reads,

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Try placing your name where the word “love” appears. How well does it fit? Ask Jesus to bring these qualities of love into your life by His Spirit. What changes might the Spirit prompt you to make in order to reach this Christian ideal?

I heard of this idea several years ago, and now whenever I am asked to perform a wedding ceremony, I always include 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I read it twice, The first time I replace the word love with the groom’s name, and the second time I replace it with the bride’s name. It always brings smiles to the  bride and groom as well as the entire wedding party. Still I trust the Holy Spiriting is impressing the sacredness of love upon their hearts. 

For some reason, what seems to bring more smiles than anything else is the part in 1 Cor 13:5 where it says in several versions that love keeps no record of being wronged. Now remember, God is love. So we can just as easily replace the word love with the word “God” and get an accurate description of God. But doesn’t God keep a record of all of our wrongs? Let’s let Scripture answer that.

Lord, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive? But you offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you. Psalm 130:3-4 NLT 

Remember resurrection morning when the angels told the women in Mark 16:7, to tell Peter  as well as the others that Jesus would meet them in Galilee? Peter had denied He even knew Jesus just a few nights before, but apparently Jesus didn’t have any record of that in His heart. For the sake of unity Paul pleads with us to have the same attitude with others. 

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT 

Make allowances for each other’s faults? But what about character development? What about Bible standards? First, forgiveness is a Bible standard and should be included in our own character development. Second, Jesus gave us an example of being conservative towards ourselves while being liberal towards others. In other words hold yourself to a higher standard while cutting everyone else some slack. Jesus was conservative towards Himself when he fasted 40 days in the wilderness, but we was liberal towards others when He fed the multitudes. Jesus was conservative towards Himself while He prayed all evening in Gethsemane, but He was liberal towards the disciples when they fell asleep while praying. Jesus could have been hard on them and still spoken truth had He told them, “Hey, I have come down here in the same flesh you have, so if I can pray without falling asleep so can you!” According to Romans 8:3 that statement would have been exactly true! 

He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. Romans 8:3 NLT 

But as true as such a statement would have been, instead of condemning them for not being like Him, He sought to excuse them by saying, “For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” See Matthew 26:41. 

Paul endorses this idea of being conservative towards ourselves while being liberal towards others. We’ve seen in Colossians 3:13 how he says to make allowances for each other’s faults, which is being liberal towards others. Then, in Romans Paul says, 

Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. Romans 13:14 NLT 

Paul is teaching us to make allowances for the fault’s of others while not indulging in sin ourselves. Conservative towards ourselves, liberal towards others. This attitude of keeping no record of the wrongs of others, while reaching a higher standard for ourselves, is not just for grooms and brides. Its for children and parents, and brothers and sisters, and cousins and neighbors. We have all heard, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” What happy homes and churches we can have if we will all shred those records of other people’s mistakes, and be liberal towards others, while being conservative towards ourselves!

Amen!(0)

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   How He longs for loving unity.  “That they all may be one, as you, Father are in me and I in You.”  Precious are those words in John 17 sent to us by Jesus. Can you sense in them the intense desire by Jesus for harmony and love shared by all members of human families? But can true harmony exist in a world of selfish sin? Is sin such an obstacle that the mere existence of family life predicts conflict and trouble? What is the secret to having a family life of unity in Jesus? Can that happen in this sin-troubled world? How? 

2. Christ the center.  Gentiles and Christians–what a recipe for conflict in the early church of Christ! Why? How can the cross of Christ reconcile the views of men and women, Jews and Gentiles, and Christians with their own views? Imagine the cross of Jesus with many lines converging at the center, where we can clearly see the cross. What can you and I do to place ourselves at the center of that circle?  If we choose not to align ourselves with  the struggles of the cross, where do we tend to drift and wander?  Discuss the perspective of Dietrich Bonhoeffer in The Cost of Discipleship who bluntly states that “we cannot establish direct contact outside ourselves except through him, through his word, and through our following of him.” 
3. Becoming one through His love. Isn’t God’s love a natural part of being a member of the human race?  If not, why not? What can you and I do to support unity among God’s people?  If we are criticized, condemned or otherwise ignored, can we carry on anyway with the work of sharing God’s love? Or does God recognize as His witnesses only those who have mastered the art of unconditional love to all? Our lesson author points out that the disciple John was quite the rascal before he was converted. Why did Jesus accept him into the fellowship of early church leaders?  If you’ve ever been considered as someone with a rough personality, did you find a way of solving this problem in Jesus? Can anyone who chooses to reflect God’s love find a definite and sure way to do  so? How?
4. Selfishness: family destroyer. Ellen White made the comment that in five minutes, our selfishness and pride could be laid aside–but only if we did what in those five minutes?  Have you ever seen a small child insist, “Me, me”?  What do we find as a cure for selfishness at the foot of the cross?  Christ never behaved in a selfish manner. Is that true? Can we reach the point in our Christian experience when we are no longer tempted to think primarily of ourselves and our desires? What role does the cross of Christ play in helping you and me to  overcome selfishness in our lives?  Is it possible for us to be so surrendered  to Jesus that we lose selfish tendencies? Or must we wait until Jesus comes to be completely free from all selfishness? 
5. Submission. If you know, or think you know, more than others about some aspect of salvation, is it a good idea to let it be known that what you think should be widely proclaimed? And if you’re right, or believe that you are , shouldn’t you let people know–and that they are wrong? Why should there ever be value placed on submission? What interesting law or rule was introduced in Ephesians 5:22, 6:1, and 6:5 for the treatment of believers with less inborn or assigned  cultural leadership?  If these directives astonished early believers, should they have an effect on us today? Could these texts affect the assignment of leadership in our church such as the exclusive selection of men for ordination, for example, with their “obvious” leadership skills?

Amen!(0)

What counsel does Paul have regarding humility and service in relationships? Eph. 5:21. How do you think this attitude contributes to unity in the church? Why is it so important at home? Eph. 5:22-6:9.

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The word “submit” (Eph. 5:21) means to place oneself humbly before another person on the basis of voluntary choice. This unique principle began with Christ (Matt. 20:26-28; John 13:4, 5; Phil. 2:5-8) and characterizes all those who are filled with His Spirit (Eph. 5:18). “Reverence for Christ” is what motivates people to submit in this way (Eph. 5:21, NIV). Mutuality in self-giving was, and still is, a revolutionary Christian teaching about social relationships. It brings to life the spiritual reality that all are one in Christ; there are no exceptions.

A household principle. The proving ground of Christian submission is in the home. If this principle is effective there, it will make a dramatic difference in the church. Paul moves immediately from the introduction of the principle of submission to discuss its application in families.

Three pairs of relationships are addressed in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 – the most common yet most unequal relationships in society. The intent is not to reinforce an existing social order but to show how the faith culture of Christ operates when there is a radically different voluntary submission of believers to one another.

Why do you think Paul consistently speaks first to those who are socially weaker in the culture—the wives, children, and slaves? Write the qualifying phrase attached to the submission of each of these.

Eph. 5:22

Eph. 6:1

Eph. 6:5

Those with greater social power—husbands, parents, masters—are always addressed second. Each receives a directive quite uncommon to the culture. These directives must have astonished the believers of the first century. They leveled the ground around the Cross and opened the way for true oneness to be experienced in relationships.

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