family-life | Intercer Adventist News

It’s Time for Bed!

January 31, 2019 By admin

“Parents should live more for their children, and less for society. Study health subjects, and put your knowledge to a practical use. Teach your children to reason from cause to effect. Teach them that if they desire health and happiness, they must obey the laws of nature.” Ministry of Healing, pg. 386.

Jean shared with me how she hated to hear her mother saying, “It’s time for bed.”

“It can’t be time for bed. It’s still light outside. I’m busy playing. The other kids are playing. Listen to them! I can’t possibly go to sleep with all that racket,” Jean would respond. But her mom didn’t look and she didn’t listen either. It was summer in Minnesota! Jean had gone to bed early all winter and she didn’t care. Jean says, “I knew that my mom was wrong, wrong, wrong!”

According to Jean, “It happened again when I was a teenager. She would say, ‘It’s time for bed.’ And I’d say, ‘It can’t be! I’m not done with my homework. I promised to call my friend. Anyway, I’m not tired!’ Again, she didn’t listen and I knew that I was not tired. I knew that she was wrong, wrong, wrong!”

But Jean admits today that actually it turned out that her mom was right. Recent research shouts the message that sleep is important, not only for the body and brain growth of young children, but for the body health and brain growth for all ages, especially teens.

In her book, Sleepless in America, Mary Sheedy Kureinka has gathered together research studies that combine a clear picture of the importance of enough sleep for children and the impact lack of sleep has on their behavior.

Consider these findings:

Did you know that a high-energy child might have only a 15-minute window when the body is ready for sleep? Miss that and the body becomes wired for a burst of activity that looks as if the child is not tired, but it is actually a call for being asleep earlier.
Did you know that teenagers’ body clocks change and they really do get tired later and need to sleep longer in the morning?
Did you know that letting teens sleep all day on the weekend exacerbates the problem and they should be awakened by 10:00 a.m.?
Did you know that adolescents need 9 ¼ hours of sleep a night? If school starts early, parents really do need to say, “Time for bed” and stick with it. The kids will be healthier and smarter when they get to school.
Did you know that missing one hour of sleep eight nights in a row impairs cognitive function as much as going 24 hours without sleep?

So how much is enough? Sleep needs vary from one person to another, but according to Sheedy Kurcinka, here are the current recommendations:

Infants: 14-18 hours in a 24-hour period
Toddlers: (18-36 months) 13 hours (including naps)
Preschoolers: 12 hours (including naps)
School age children: 10 hours
Adolescents: (13-18 years) 9 ¼ hours
Adults: 8 ½ hours

All to often, our busy lives keep us from noticing that the negative behaviors of our children are often the result of poor sleep patterns and the environments we provide for them throughout the day. It’s a balancing act. Sometimes we let children stay up because we haven’t been with them during the day or because we are too exhausted to get them in bed! Sometimes we want them to attend a culturally enriching or educational experience, which requires a later bedtime. And sometimes we just want them to have some fun. However, I invite you to think about the price they and we may pay in not saying, “It’s time for bed!”

Christmas Joy

December 17, 2018 By admin

In 1967, Charles E. Hummel published a small book entitled, Tyranny of the Urgent.1In it, he asked if we’d ever wished for a 30-hour day. “Surely this extra time would relieve the tremendous pressure under which we live. Our lives leave a trail of unfinished tasks. Unanswered letters, unvisited friends, unwritten articles, and unread books haunt quiet moments when we stop to evaluate. We desperately need relief.”

Hummel goes on to answer his own question. “But would a thirty-hour day really solve the problem? Wouldn’t we soon be just as frustrated as we are now with our twenty-four allotment?”

This Christmas season we’re probably all wishing for more time, more money, and more energy. We worry about things that are nearly out of our control and things that we should have had more control over. Do we have enough presents for each of our children/parents/grandchildren/neighbors/co-workers. How can we make it to the Christmas pageant at church, cook all the food for Christmas dinner, and find time to visit grandmother in the nursing home? And there’s that nagging fear about the credit card bills due to drop in January.

When was the last time you stopped and thought about the miracle of Jesus’ birth? When was the last time you looked at a baby and wondered anew at how God could send his son to a dirty barn to be born to a teen-age girl? When was the last time you looked at a star and thought what a fitting global positioning system that was for the magi?

It doesn’t get much simpler than this: God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16 KJV).

Put down your lists and stop wrapping your presents and share the Christmas story with someone you love. Keep it simple. God did. When the angels appeared to the shepherds on the hills of Galilee, they weren’t given a deep study into the plan of salvation. The angel calmed their fears and told them the good news of a savior who was born nearby, who would bring peace and good will to men. They believed and rushed to see the baby.

I recently heard my son explaining the birth of Jesus to my 4-year-old grandson. The description of the stable was an easy one for Brandon to visualize because they have a chicken coop. Although kept quite clean, no one Brandon knew would want to be born there. He imagined the chickens clucking and wandering with curiosity near that tiny baby and then all the farm boys coming in to visit. The same angels that protect him every night, that surround his bed, were also there singing for the baby.

Where’s your wonder? Have you replaced the feeling of wonder with the tyranny of the urgent? Are you so important and have so many things to do that you don’t have time to refresh your spirit and remember God’s special gift?

“Over the years the greatest continuing struggle in the Christian life is the effort to make adequate time for daily waiting on God, weekly inventory, and monthly planning,” wrote Hummel. “Because this time for receiving marching orders is so important, Satan will do everything he can to squeeze it out. Yet we know from experience that only by this means can we escape the tyranny of the urgent. This is how Jesus succeeded. He did not finish all the urgent tasks in Palestine or all the things He would have liked to do, but He did finish the work which God gave Him to do.”

Dee Litten Whited writes from the U.S. East Coast.

The post Christmas Joy appeared first on Answers for Me.

You Need to Ask

December 6, 2018 By admin

How long has it been since you’ve had a conversation with your parents about their finances? If you are like most people, the likely answer would be, “Never!”

Questions related to financial concerns and end of life issues are some of the hardest to ask our parents, even though we are adults. However, your parents may surprise you and be ready to have this conversation, so take the risk. You’ll never know unless you ask!

1. Who is advising you on financial issues? Although most are fiercely private about their finances and want to maintain their independence, it’s important in case of an emergency that you know how to contact your parent’s attorney, financial advisor, accountant, and insurance agent/s.

2. Who will help manage your finances in the coming years? Have you named a durable power of attorney? The DPOA is considered one of the most important personal legal documents for any older adult to have. This is someone who can make financial decisions on their behalf should they no longer be mentally competent.

3. What resources do you have to use for living expenses in retirement? This includes retirement benefits, Social Security benefits, veteran’s benefits, cash, lifetime income annuities, etc.

4. What kind of health insurance do you have? Unless your parents are adequately insured, a prolonged illness or injury could threaten their retirement. Ask if they have a Medicare supplement plan or long term care insurance to help pay for their care.

5. What kind of life insurance do you have? If your parents have term life insurance, find out when it expires. If they have full life insurance (sometimes termed permanent), see how it fits into their overall estate plans

6. Do you have an updated will or living trust? Is an executor named? This can help make sure your parents medical wishes are upheld in the event of a medical emergency. Be sure the original isn’t in a locked safety deposit box, as that will be inaccessible unless you are named on their bank account as well.

7. What kind of funeral arrangements have been made and with whom? If there aren’t financial and location provisions already in place, you may have to ask the even harder question about if they wish to buried or cremated, and what is to be done with their remains. Some other questions would be, “What do you want on your tombstone?” “What do you want said or done in your funeral or memorial service?”

8. Do you anticipate needing financial or other kinds of support? We’re living longer than ever, which means more people are outliving their retirement savings. Ask your parents whether they have enough to sustain themselves for the rest their lives. If not, how much support will they need? They may also need at home assistance, someone to drive them to appointments, etc.

9. Where is all this stuff? If your parent has an accident, stroke or heart attack, the last thing you want to worry about is what his Social Security number is, what health insurance she has, or whether the mortgage has been paid. That’s why it’s important to sit down before a crisis hits and find out what kind of bill-paying system is in place, and where important papers are located. Although some may balk at sharing this kind of personal information, reassure your parents that you don’t have to see these private papers now — you just need to know where they are to ensure their financial well-being in the event they aren’t able to take care of it themselves.

10. What else would you like me to know?

Susan E. Murray writes from Southwest Michigan.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

Avoid the Edge

July 24, 2018 By admin

A story is told of a very wealthy gentleman who lived in a palatial mansion, on a high mountain, overlooking the surrounding valleys. The only problem was that reaching his gorgeous manor house required traveling along a very narrow winding road with a steep mountain slope on one side and sheer drop off on the other. Due to the early retirement of his current chauffeur, he placed an ad in his local paper for a new limousine driver. When he conducted the interviews, he asked each person one very important question, “How close can you safely drive along the edge of my winding road?” The first prospect responded, “Sir, I can drive within two feet of the edge and feel perfectly safe.” The second individual answered, “Sir, I can drive within twelve inches of the edge and you will be safe and sound.” The third person replied, “For your protection, Sir, I guarantee I will drive as far away as is possible from that edge and keep you and your family out of harms way.” The last applicant became the new driver.

What about you? Are you living too close to the edge? The edge is a miserable and desolate place to live. Individuals who exist from one paycheck to another live there. People who have no financial plan hang on for dear life at the edge. People who continually max out their credit cards barely survive falling off the edge.

A Freedom Fund

The remedy for living on the financial edge is very simple: Just move away! Not two feet, not twelve inches, but as far away as possible. One thing that puts distance between you and your family and the edge is a Freedom Fund. Some people call it a Contingency Account; others call it an Emergency Account. However or whatever you name this account or fund, it is for one important purpose—to save your financial skin when unexpected, unforeseen, and unanticipated expenses hit you broadside and threaten to push you over the edge. The Freedom Fund is your personal debt insurance and the best alternative to using plastic.

Why do you need it?

There are a number of reasons to have this rainy day Freedom Fund. First, scripture admonishes us to do so: “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets.” (Proverbs 21:20 TLB). Secondly, Christian author, Ellen White reminds us that “every week a portion of your wages should be reserved and in no case touched unless suffering actual want.”* Finally, according to current statistics, the typical amount the average American spent last year on those unexpected expenditures was $2,000.

From a more practical viewpoint, it seems to me that when something breaks or needs repairing in my house, it usually comes in pairs or, even worse, in triplicate. Take your appliances. First, your refrigerator defroster stops functioning, then the toaster dies, followed usually by the hair dryer quitting—and you are already late for work. When these essential appliances need maintenance or replacing, most people immediately reach for their only emergency fund—a personal loan with very high interest called a credit card.

There are two more areas that will inevitably challenge your family finances: motor vehicle and medical crises. According to one national survey, two thirds of unanticipated expenditures are related to medical care and motor vehicles.

How to fund it?

Instead of borrowing for these financial crises, begin putting money regularly into your Freedom Fund. Set a goal of $25 per week or $50 each payday until your Freedom Fund is fully invested. If you have trouble getting started, why not have a garage sale? You will be happily surprised that in one morning you may have as much as $300 to $500 as your first deposit.

How to maintain it?

Once you begin to save for your Freedom Fund, you may be tempted to start seeing it as part of your long term investments—it is NOT; it is simply money that is available for unforeseen financial emergencies. Here are the ABC’s of this fund:

Availability—Because life’s emergencies take us by surprise, your Freedom Fund must be in liquid cash. It needs to be in a bank or credit union account where you can get your hands on it immediately or, at the most, within twenty-four hours.

Be Safe—Unlike the stock market or mutual funds, your Freedom Fund needs to be where its principal has no risk. Saving accounts are the safest, but they currently pay little to nothing in interest. One of the best places to put this money is in a certificate of deposit (CD). A CD will pay more interest than a bank savings account but you are required to put it in for a set time period, such as 60 days, 90 days, or 1-5 years. If you must make an early withdrawal from your CD for an unanticipated emergency, the worst that will happen is that you will lose your interest for that period.

Continual Growth—Because you will need your Freedom Fund for a lifetime, as a good steward you will always be on the lookout for places to put this money with the best compounding interest, yet still meeting the other two requirements.

Final words

Remember, no matter the crisis, even if you are up to your eyeballs in debt, you must have a freedom fund. The good news is that Murphy’s Law does sometimes work in reverse: when you have your Freedom Fund fully vested, it seems financial challenges vanish and you no longer have to live on the edge.

Gordon Botting writes from Northern California.

The post Avoid the Edge appeared first on Answers for Me.

The Cult of Speed

July 10, 2018 By admin

In this hurry-up and get everything–and more–done society, researchers have found that American adults actually overestimate the number of hours they work and underestimate the amount of free time they have. While people may have more free time than they realize, most report feelings of what is called time-famine, “Too much to do and not enough time to do it.”

Many are living life as if it were an emergency: texting while waiting in the ski lift line, paying the bill and calling for a taxi while eating dessert at a restaurant, leaving a sporting event no matter how close the score is to get ahead of the traffic. It seems so clever, so efficient, to do two things, or more, at once. However, multi-tasking often means doing two things, or more, not very well.

In his book, In Praise of Slowness, Carl Honore stated, “In this media-drenched, data-rich, channel-surfing, computer-gaming age, we have lost the art of doing nothing, of shutting out the background noise and distractions, of slowing down and simply being alone with our thoughts. Boredom — the word hardly existed 150 years ago — is a modern invention. Remove all stimulation, and we fidget, panic and look for something, anything, to do to make use of the time” (pg. 11).

So what are we to do? This is our American culture? We have so much to accomplish! We can’t help but be irritated when others are so slow, or situations arise that keep us from getting things done!

Here are a few ideas to consider: Are you are living as if your life is an emergency? How is this working for you? Our children are adversely impacted by our negative emotions and reactions to our own frustration of a world filled with so many demands. They are all too often pushed to do more and more themselves.

Recognize that feelings of time-famine, while genuine, are not necessarily related to the actual number of free-time hours available. What do you want to do differently? You can choose to consciously appreciate the simpler delights of life as they occur. That’s time-savoring! You can enjoy the taste of good food, the warmth of the sun, the presence of good company, and the delights of fun and silliness, in others as well as yourself. Time-savoring moments can be found in the smaller chunks of free time that perhaps are now being used by cooling out in front of the TV or catching up on the computer.

Of course, we have the Sabbath!* At least some do. Can it help one experience the attitude of rest that is so badly needed? Why or why not? Could it be a matter of your own perception?

Could the cult of speed be influencing how you approach the Sabbath? How we pace ourselves during the week is directly related to how we spend Sabbath. Is it time to re-align some priorities? Could a Sabbath rest include shutting out the background noise and distractions, or simply slowing down and welcoming a time to be alone with God and your thoughts? Could a Sabbath rest also involve more time-savoring (and meal-savoring) times with friends and family? I invite you to think about it, and I wish you many blessed Sabbaths!

*Sabbath is a biblical concept where God invites people on a weekly basis to spend 24 hours with him in nature, in helping other people, in worship, and in spending time with family and friends. It is supposed to be a time of rejuvenation and healing.

“Slow Me Down Lord. Remind me. . .that the race is not always to the swift, that there is more to life than measuring speed.” W. A. Peterson

Susan E. Murray writes from Berrien Springs, Michigan.

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Article excerpt posted on en.intercer.net from Answers for Me.

It’s Time for Bed!

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Christmas Joy

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Avoid the Edge

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