My sister has this friend who married a guy who was great at teaching the Bible. He was very pious and they married fast. They also separated fast. It turns out teaching the Bible was how this guy covered his deep fears, mean temper and habit of absolute control. It turns out that just because somebody looks shiny and nice, doesn’t mean they are! Hello? Sound familiar?

The fact is, you can love Jesus and still be stupid!

Unfortunately I find that many Christians who like Jesus—even love Him, sing to Him and go to big nice churches to pray to Him—do so without getting into His teachings and wisdom. This can be devastating to all involved; first for the Jesus-toting simpleton; and then for the world of skeptics looking on.

Jesus teaches that love is kind, practical, deep and should be tested. Jesus teaches that we should be careful and honest and be sure to count the cost of things first. You’d think with all He’s taught we’d see less romantic casualties among Jesus’ followers… but no. Often when confronted by someone infatuated I find the same ignorance everywhere. So how long have you known her? And her friends? And her family? And her history? These are the kinds of questions that can save a young groom an ocean liner’s worth of heartache. They are questions of a most basic nature. And if you’ve accepted Jesus and believe all those blessings He promised are going to be forthcoming, these are questions you’d better have good thorough answers for.

Our ignorance on the relational teachings of Jesus reminds me of a joke I read a few years ago. It turns out this girl is crossing a street when a voice says, Jump on the curb! Doing so, she nearly misses being run over. This happens a few times before the girl looks up into the sky and asks whom it is that is speaking to her. I’m your guardian angel, says the voice, to which the girl asks—well where on earth were you on my wedding day?

What a perfect example of ignorance. Unlike a car that is suddenly screeching around the corner out of nowhere, getting married is not something that hits us because we left the curb at the wrong time. Promising to hunker down with another faulty and fallible human for all time is huge, and there’s a really good chance our guardian angels couldn’t get a word in edgewise. (Just try talking anyone out of marriage in marriage counseling.) We cannot point to anyone but ourselves when having chosen a mate, things explode all over. Last time I checked, there are directives on how to do this all through the Bible. Think about it… who bought the dress and rented the church?

And maybe this is why I sometimes think that Christianity as a religion has really gone shallow on the teachings of Jesus. Why else would there be as many poor marriage choices within the church as without? Why else would an older Christian lady marry an online prince and loose her life savings, or even worse, be so gullible as to believe that because the guy could pray so nice, he must be that answer to prayer?

This really hit home to me back in 1993. Remember the story of those young Christian girls who chose to become David Koresh’ third and fourth wives? I actually knew where they were from. I knew people they’d gone to church with. And when I read those cover stories, I couldn’t imagine what they had been thinking. Jesus is nothing like David Koresh, and holing up in Waco, Texas, wasn’t anything like the kind of life Jesus taught was ours.

So yeah, I think that sadly, it is possible to be into Jesus to some degree and grow up around Christianity and still make really poor choices. Why? First, because the evidence is overwhelming—it happens a lot. And second, because liking someone—even loving someone—doesn’t mean you’ll be wise like them, Jesus included. Wisdom, as the good book of Proverbs states so clearly (over and over ad nauseam) is for those who seek it. Stupid can be accidental, wisdom; never.

Clar Sproul writes from the Pacific Northwest.

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